Living with a broken heart is the worst earthquake one can go through. You don’t know where it started, when it would end, or even if it would ever end.
It’s beautiful in a very painful way. You can find people unlocking skills within them they never knew existed.
In this post, we will discuss the best way to handle a broken heart in a way that would remove the person and stop allowing them to control your life in the most gentle way possible.
Feel every bit of your feelings.
In this state of being, you will notice that you are very sensitive. Anything can cause you to cry, which is completely fine; allow yourself to feel it all.
You are just a human; you did nothing wrong to love someone; it was just not meant to be. Which I know very well is a very painful pill to swallow.
You thought they were your soulmate; you thought you had reached the destination. But life has proven to you yet again that you are wrong.
Many people in today’s society would tell you to move on and let go as if you were choosing to stay in that condition. You are not foolish to still be there.
To still want them, crave them, and miss them. You thought that was your person; of course, it would hurt to just let them go; you have given them a piece of yourself. I know it hurts, so just feel it all.
Feel the love, feel the pain, feel the hate. Feel it all.
You are allowed to stalk them, check and see if they are okay, and you are allowed to wish them well, for once you wished to live eternity with this person.
I believe you still do, but we both know that it’s not going to be as you have dreamed of it.
We both know you need to let them go, and to do so, you need to allow yourself to feel every second bit of your emotions. That is how you heal.
That is how you pierce your heart together.
You don’t let go by being heartless; you move on by feeling it all. Till you realize that you deserve better than this, till you get bored of that pain and it cannot hurt you anymore.
Till you forgive yourself for the mistakes you never planned to make. For the manipulation you never wanted to participate in.
For the games you never knew existed, you need to feel it all. You are the victim, but in this story you save yourself.
In this story, you cry till your heart gets them out of you; you feel it all. And you forgive yourself in the process.
Fall in love with yourself
I know you have filled their cup with all the love you have for them, but what about yours?
Who will pour into yours? Who?
You are the only person who should do so. It’s fine to still love them, pour into them, and care for them, but you deserve love too.
Not because this society tells you to ‘love yourself so that you can find someone better’ or ‘get them jealous’ or even’make them want you’ or ‘get revenge’—none’ of that junk.
You should love yourself because you deserve it. Period.
There was no mistake in loving them; you don’t love someone to expect anything from them; it is not their job to love you back; it is yours.
You are the only one who can see the universe within you and all its beauty; unless you let us get a peek at it, we are blind to all the beauty you are hiding inside you. That is why you should love yourself.
You know who you are, you know how compassionate and loving you are, and the fact that you chose to share that love with someone else is even more reason to love yourself even more.
Not everyone has a big heart like yours; you are hurting because you pity them for losing something so precious, ‘you’. All the love you were willing to give and all the passion the colors and shapes you wished to bring into their lives from your world being rejected hurts.
It hurts a lot because you cherish them; you knew how beautiful it would have been to create something beautiful in their universe. You wished to entwine your worlds to become one; you wanted to share and build together.
It is so normal and human to feel heartbroken. But that should never let you question your worth.
You are worthy. You are beautiful. In every way that matters. If they could not see it, it’s because they do not belong in your world.
So allow yourself to enjoy your own love and repair every piece that was broken during that earthquake. Water those flowers in your garden.
Take care of yourself, and let it take as long as it should till you allow someone else to see your universe again.
Don’t rush things; find ways to love yourself in ways that you never thought you were capable of before. Do you know why?
Because every time you love someone, your heart expands, and you learn to love deeper. So now is the best time to love yourself more.
Here are some ideas if you find yourself lost:
- Read the entire article with an open heart
- Spoil yourself in every way wish with someone would (flowers, jewelry, food, travel, etc..)
- Permit yourself to mourn them
- Be very gentle with yourself
- Take care of your health
- Journal about your feelings and thoughts (everything you wish they would know)
- Start chasing your dreams (money, house, family, education, etc.)
- Work on developing your skills (hobbies, work, relationships, communication, etc.)
- Surround yourself with positive energy.
Have faith that God has created someone just for you.
I know we think that soulmates are a myth and that we can only find them in books and movies, but the truth is that the one who had created this beautiful world, the one who painted the sky the way that never ceases to surprise you with its beauty, the stars, and how gloriously they sparkle in the beautiful galaxy that we live in, had not forgotten about you.
He had created someone who is just for you. I know many of us live in this world and find it easier to believe that He does not exist and that everything happening on earth is just random, but the truth is that everything is perfectly made in the most divine way by the Divine himself.
He is sweet, and every painful thing He allows to harm you is only so that he can prepare you for what is coming. All those hardships would one day make perfect sense to you; one day you will sit and get your aha moment.
But today, I know you feel lost. Today you are afraid you are forgotten; today is scary, but I want you to know that you have his full attention. I want you to know you are his precious creation. He loves you in ways you cannot even love yourself.
And for that, he knows that those hard days are necessary for you to get what you want. For the diamond to shine, it has to go through so many processes. He is perfecting you; you are no joke to him.
He has someone in store who is perfect for you—someone who would love all your scares, someone who feels like home, someone who won’t change you for the world.
Someone made it just for you.
Right now you are just not ready for that relationship; that is why he is preparing you. I know you hate the process; we all do. No one on earth will tell you it is fun till they reach the end line.
I know you have so many questions, but he will keep the answers until he sees that they are important for you to know them. So if you have questions, keep moving; your answers are waiting for you when you are done. Right now, have faith in him.
He will never hate someone He created and fed and every time you lose hope, he brings you something that makes you forget all the pain you have faced. Don’t you think he sees the pain in your heart?
Do you think he likes to see you hurt and broken?
He doesn’t, even if you don’t believe it. I know you question his actions a lot, but you need to know that he is carving your story in the most beautiful way possible, and as the main character, you need all these hardships so that you can enjoy the things he has prepared for you even better.
Do you think it’s the money that makes the billionaires happy? No, it’s the hardships they were able to overcome, the days they wished to give up but didn’t. Because anyone can work, anyone can dream, but very few actually stick around long enough to succeed.
They are happy because no matter the circumstances, they never give up, no matter how much they want to. The confidence, joy, and peace that come with that can never be found except by those who have faced those circumstances and nailed them.
Keep believing in love, and keep trusting God. Your mate is going to to enter your life at the perfect time in the perfect place.
When you are ready. Rignow,now love yourself and believe that God loves youtoo,o and He is very proud of how strong you are.
Work on building yourself
Use this time to your advantage, and work on developing your skills. Become someone you have always wished to be.
Stop sitting around crying and pitying yourself and start investing that time in the most valuable thing in your life: yourself.
No idea how to do so?
Here is what you can do for your broken heart:
- Find one goal you wish to achieve at the end of this year.
- Create a plan on how to do so.
- Make time in your schedule every day for that goal.
- Find people who have achieved that goal and study them
- Write down how you would like that goal to show up in your life
- Stay disciplined and hold yourself accountable
- Admit your flaws and find ways to improve yourself
- Achieve the goal
- Reward yourself
- Find a new goal
- Repeat the process
Let’s say, for example, the goal you wish to achieve is to learn French. So, the plan would be for you to practice French for 30 minutes every day. You go and find yourself a great teacher and make sure you attend the class every day possible, no matter what you are feeling that day.
At the end of every week, you reward yourself with something you love; let’s say you buy yourself the rings you always wanted to have. This will motivate you to get better every single week, looking forward to that day when you reward yourself with what you love.
On the other hand, when the task is not done, you punish yourself with something like donating something you love or a day without a phone. Whatever works for you. You know yourself better than anyone.
Why is this process so important when you have a broken heart?
Because it takes away your focus from your pain to bringing something new that would make you happy and also make you feel more in control of your life.
It’s a trick to reduce pain by putting your attention elsewhere. I know many times we are told to sit with our pain till it’s gone, but some wounds don’t heal themselves; they require a lot of strength from us, and when you sit down focusing on your pain, you will find that you have none.
The more you focus on your broken heart, the more pain you will feel. I don’t remember ever sitting with pain and seeing it leave; it only grew and swallowed me whole till I could see nothing but pain in every direction in my life.
Maybe you are not like me; I would recommend you talk to someone who understands you. But to many of us, we need to put our energy elsewhere; we need to water somewhere else and see it bloom so that we can heal that old wound that we have left so that we can bring back some help.
You need to grow sometimes in order to heal. And if you are like me, then find something that excites you and go for it. I know you wanted me to give you a quick cure; I wish I had one, but I am not a liar; I don’t have one.
The only way I know how to heal a broken heart is by self-development. It has always amazed me how tiny that huge cut looks when you have outgrown yourself.
It will make you smile at how small something can be and cause you so much pain that you cannot see anything but pain.
So, sweetheart, the only road that I advise you to take right now is the one I know would work, which is self-improvement.
Work on yourself, day and night. Feel your feelings and do it anyway.
It will feel like you tried to lift a rock before and after you joined the gym. You will come out as a different person; that rock would be too cute in your hands. You will laugh at how much time you wasted trying to lift it when you were unprepared.
I hope this post helped you, and now you feel even a little bit better. I hope one day you will be stronger and you will look back at yourself with so much pride for how far you have come. I hope God heals you and brings you nothing but the best of people who would cherish you and make you feel loved without every questioning how they feel about you.
Love you all.
XOXO