Feeling triggered for no reason and allowing it to control your life may not be how you want to spend the rest of your life. It doesn’t seem like the road to success or happiness. If you are tired of allowing your emotions to lead you to the insecure version of yourself, you have found the right post.
Feeling emotionally unstable may make one lose their trust in themselves and start relying on others, something that may make you look clingy and stupid. If you have people who care about you, then you are a lucky person, but most of the time that is not the case.
You need to learn how to heal yourself emotionally so that you can focus on creating and enjoying your life as you have always wanted. Sometimes our emotions can be our worst enemy.
So here is how you can heal and feel your emotions in the healthiest way I learned.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions
Stop trying to fight your feelings and instead feel them. Nothing lasts forever, not even the worst kind of pain, so instead of resenting them, allow yourself to feel them completely.
This way you will allow them to pass and give yourself the space to feel joy. What hurts is not the sadness, disappointment, or betrayal; what hurts is you resenting your emotions.
There is no such thing as a good or bad feeling; every emotion deserves respect and attention from you. Every emotion is trying to tell you something about yourself, so instead of shutting it out, I want you to sit and feel it all.
Feel your sadness, sit down, and just tell yourself, ‘I am feeling sad right now.’ no need to overcomplicate stuff, life wasn’t meant to just be about happiness, being sad is important as well, it helps us slow down and focus on the details in our lives, appreciate the memories we had and plan out the future we seek.
You never know why God chose that moment to slow you down; sometimes there is something beautiful He wants you to see. So instead of pushing your feelings away, I want you to process them in a way that feels easy for you.
Here is what I do when I feel something that triggers me:
- Meditate and scan my body for any sensations
- Journal my feelings and thoughts
- Hang out with a friend and talk it out
- Read a book that feels like a hug
- Watch a series that brings me joy (Korean Drama)
- Plan my life to reduce stress
- Watch my favorite YouTuber (Tam Kaur)
- Spoiling myself
- Engage in something I am passionate about (swimming)
- Clean the space
- Sit down in complete silence and cry
- Walk around the neighborhood (with a podcast sometimes)
You can try them out; you never know what can change your life.
Find the source of the emotional trigger
What triggers you is very important to know for you to lead a happy and healthy life.
To protect yourself from certain energies, you need to know what causes you to feel down and lost. Understand the situation completely. I want you to approach this with pure curiosity, not judgment.
In that way, you can see what affects your mental health and emotions; no one can hurt you if that place doesn’t already have deep roots from your past.
People can only ever hurt you if you have a wound that is already there, so be curious whenever someone says something or does something that triggers you; it means you need to heal. You have a wound you didn’t know existed in that area.
To do so, you can try shadow work—by that, we mean answering deep questions that help you understand the situation—or you can meditate and become more mindful by searching your body for any tension. This exercise helps dictate uncomfortable parts of you so that you can start finding a cure.
Reading is good too; it helps us understand our situations and what they mean, and sometimes they also give us solutions to things we know nothing about but the feeling of discomfort.
Our bodies communicate with us through emotions, so if you feel anything negative instead of running from it or rejecting it, it is better to sit down and try to understand what your body is telling you.
When you feel hungry, you know that your body is lacking energy and vitamins, so you run to the kitchen to find yourself something to eat, but when you are in a relationship and you feel hurt, you may ignore the feeling and turn it down so that you can keep the peace with the other person, feeding yourself lies about them.
I honestly don’t know how we humans have come to live this way; what I do know is that we need to end this habit of ignoring our feelings; it doesn’t benefit anyone. At the end of the day, this calling of a feeling will turn into a scream from your soul, and believe me, you will pay for it dearly.
So why not do yourself the favor and listen to it and see what it is telling you? Why are you so uncomfortable around certain people—is it them or is it you?
This is not about who is good or who is bad; it is about taking good care of yourself and nurturing yourself so that you can be in an environment where you can grow and bloom as the best you can become.
Do something you are very passionate about
The thing is, as much as life can suck, there is still lots of beauty to explore and enjoy, and because of that, there is something that can heal you completely, something you are very passionate about.
Something you forget every problem that causes you pain, something worth living for. Sometimes it’s a person, which is very dangerous because people’s feelings for us can change, they are not stable, and we cannot rely on them.
That is why you need to find something that you are deeply in love with and will never leave you, something you can rely on; sometimes it can be a sport (football, basketball, swimming, running, boxing, etc.)
Other times it can be art (sketching, painting, décor, fashion, dancing, etc.) Just make sure it is something you can tap on anytime you want to.
This will help your heart take a break from all the negative, overwhelming emotions and just relax; it’s like going to the gym to strengthen your body before a match. You allow your body to take a break so that it can heal itself.
Sometimes we catch on to our problems and we forget how to just be happy and relax. To reduce anxiety and depression risks, having a hobby will allow your feelings to turn from heavy pain to pure joy.
It will help your brain relax and feel in control—that you will one day just live in pure joy, and this is proof of it.
Surround yourself with kind people
I know billions of humans take pride in judging and harming others who they believe are ‘less than them’, but that doesn’t mean there are no good, kind, and innocent people who will admire you and love you just as you are. Believe me, it may sound unrealistic right now, but they exist!
You just need to put in the effort and try to find them. These people will not take away your problems, but they will definitely make the journey of healing easier and sometimes more fun!
I never believed this till I saw it with my own eyes. I was going through a terrible year of my life; everything seemed to just fall apart from what I planned, but these people with their sweet talk just made me feel less lonely; they made me see light worth fighting for.
You need these people in your life, especially in the world we live in today, where everyone is taking you as their competition. Do yourself a favor and surround yourself with those who care about your emotions, those who are gentle with your heart, and those are your people who will live each day to make your life more beautiful.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable
I know this is scary, and I am sure you are thinking this is a bad idea, but to be honest with you, as hard as it is to open up and allow others to judge you, you have to be vulnerable to heal.
Hiding your feelings will not take them away; it is only through being aesthetic and letting everyone think whatever they want of you when you start living a healthy life.
Building strong relationships that heal one’s soul requires vulnerability; it requires being brave enough to let others judge you and all; so see you just as you are. No masks, no filters, no lies, just you.
It is hard, but who said the cure would be easy? Your heart is the most important part of you, and healing her requires great effort and sacrifices.
Your ego is destroying your life; it will lead you nowhere but your doom. If you love yourself even a little, then you need to master the art of being vulnerable.
Let yourself out there; who wants to judge let them; who wishes to love you let them too. Allow people to make their own decisions about you, and stop trying to manipulate their emotions toward you. The main reason you are standing where you are today is because you were not honest with your wishes. I am not saying you were lying, but you may not even know it. You were not being completely yourself around others.
You cannot expect to build healthy relationships and connect with others when you are not even being yourself.
To heal, you need to let yourself out; do not hide your pain or sadness. It is nothing to be shameful about; we all go through it.
We all do; no one has ever lived without experiencing pain or sadness; if so, they are not being honest even with themselves.
I have noticed that we are being programmed to just reveal certain feelings while other emotions are deemed ‘bad’ in the society we live in today. While in reality, it is nothing shameful to go through life and experience disappointment, which leads later on to sadness and pain; it is part of life to fail; it is how we learn.
So cutting yourself out from experiencing these emotions will only make your emotional system struggle to send you a message, which can lead to great danger in the long run. If you care about yourself, let yourself just be.
Happy, sad, or indifferent—it doesn’t matter; just feel your emotions and be unafraid to show them to the world. This will strengthen you in ways you cannot even imagine. With time, your body will learn to cope with these feelings in a better way because you are not hiding them anymore, so they feel safe to come to you quietly and calmly; there is no need to shout or scream at you for you to pay them any mind.
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