Healing has so many stages, and bullying and trauma from bullying is one we always have to take very seriously, even though it’s something most of the time we just brush off as if it were simple.
Bullying is a crime committed by fools and very insecure sick people whose lives are a lie, trying to stop those who live their lives freely without fear from enjoying their freedom and peace.
I am sure you have seen this event unfold in movies you have watched, but this doesn’t end just when someone grows up; these shame and trauma hunt these people their entire lives. That is why I chose the word CRIME to describe it.
The easiest way to destroy someone is to bully them and make them feel like they do not belong there.
In this post, we will discuss all the areas regarding trauma from bullying to help overcome this situation and understand why it occurs in our society. Hoping we can become smart enough to end this once and for all.
What causes people to bully others
There are so many reasons that can cause those around us to harass those who are dim lower than them; it can be:
Because they were bullied as well
One of the reasons why someone will run into harming others and traumatizing them with bullying may be because they have experienced that.
I know it’s crazy, and as a person who has been a victim, they should be the ones helping others rather than harming them; this gives them a sense of power.
It makes them feel like they are taking revenge. Since they cannot seek justice from the ones who hurt them, often their parents or friends, harming those who are weaker than them helps them realize some of the pain they have experienced.
They feel powerful when they hurt others, which is such a sick way to live.
When they think that person has potential
These people are those who try to stop you before you reach your goals, so the best strategy they use is trying to convince you that you can never get there.
That can look like they are body shaming you, trying to make you feel insecure so that you won’t find the confidence to be comfortable in a relationship or if you are really good in sports and they know you can win; this body shaming strategy helps them slow you down or scare you from participating in any competitions.
These are people who feel threatened by you; they use bullying as a tool to destroy you before you earn your power; they know you can; that is why they try so hard to stop you in any way possible.
They are jealous of you.
When someone is very jealous of how you live and enjoy your life, they may try bullying you to stop you or bother you in some way so that you can end up as hopeless as them.
They hate seeing you happy with your life, them working hard to be accepted, and you not caring a bit about who thinks what is bothering them.
Believe me, you cannot even imagine how much they have sacrificed just to sit on that table they think to make others fear them—’the’cool kid’s table,’ as they call it—you entering their lives and seeing you living blissfully in your world without the need of the ‘cool kids table’ really work on their nerves.
They cannot understand you; you seem like a threat they need to get rid of. You are showing them that all they have sacrificed is for nothing, that you will not pay any price to be happy; happiness is just as.
So, bullying you, they will; that is the only way they can sit around feeling like the price they paid to sit there was worth it, that they are more powerful than anyone else.
I’m sure other reasons may pull someone to commit such a crime; we are not saying it’s okay here; we just have to understand the little brains of our enemies so that we can crush them, just to make things clear here.
How can you heal from bullying trauma?
So, after you have understood the meaning of bullying and why it still exists on our planet no matter how educated we get, humans steal and are addicted to causing harm to each other, it has come the time for you to heal and learn how you can protect yourself, since you and I have no other choice.
As much as we can grow and develop, we are humans and what others say about us matters, I will never lie to you and say, ‘don’t care what others think, blah blah blah.’ How else would you grow?
It’s those around us who tell us how far we have come and what better we can do, so not caring is not an option. I will not lie to you; you just can’t care; don’t believe me; try it. If you can, good for you.
But I am sure that most of us are incapable of just becoming heartless and not caring, so here are some useful steps to take to help heal and become strong enough to handle bullies.
Know yourself
Stop waiting for someone to tell you who you are; start observing who you are. What do you like to do, what are your skills and talents, what are your gifts, and know your strengths well?
At the same time, know your weaknesses. Once you have acknowledged where you need to grow, you will start noticing that your brain naturally starts to find ways to help you become better in that area.
This way, when a bully approaches you trying to scare you with your weaknesses, you won’t feel shame; instead, you will be very compassionate with yourself, and you will just look this creature in the eye with either power for trying to harm your baby self, ‘you’ or with pity, that they have nothing interesting to do except harm others.
You need to know that you are the most interesting thing they have ever laid their eyes on; that is why they are trying to destroy you.
The only weakness they found is the one they are trying to shame you with, so know yourself before your enemies try to introduce you to yourself. The worst reaction you can have is shock when they try to harm you, be uninterested, or have any powerful reaction that will cause them fear but otherwise give them no reaction.
No surprise, that is power; it shows that you know and you have accepted and loved yourself with that part of you. You are not rejecting who you are; you are fine with not being perfect.
This will shock them because these are people who have rejected themselves; they are people who believe that others’ opinions are better than their own, and they are people who change themselves to fit in.
You have just shown them that you need no one’s approval to be happy and live a peaceful life; you show that either they accept you as you are or they leave you as you are.
You do not participate in this nonsense they feed themselves. You are too busy working on becoming better and enjoying more of your life to assume that your eyebrows are thick, your hair is curly, or your taste in fashion is different than this society’s standards.
Or the car you drive is not brand new or whatever it might be; you show them that you need no such thing to love yourself; you are worthy as you are, stupid, crazy, poor, awkward, loud, dark, light, whatever. To you, it is always about being happy and living in the moment; you don’t waste your precious time worrying about things we normally wouldn’t ever notice.
Once you have learned to accept yourself fully, their comments become ridiculous. You can start finding them funny and start to laugh at their faces, because who cares?
Fools.
Become very busy with your goals.
This one is my favorite. Once you know your goals and you get excited to tick them off and experience life with them, you stop wondering about the gossip and what others think of you. These things become so cute and stupid in your eyes compared to your HUGE GOALS, which is why I recommend for you to start dreaming big.
The more focused you are in your life, the fewer others’ opinions matter to you because, while they are wasting their energy on you, you are too busy focusing on your million-dollar plan.
Their stupid comments and stupid faces become the things you can brush off very easily because your brain has bigger and more important things to focus on.
You won’t be wasting your precious energy worrying about how they perceive you; they do not even exist in your world, and you are too busy for anything that doesn’t serve you. And these people so don’t serve you one bit.
Find your people and build a strong connection.
Once you have found your people, it becomes impossible to even approach you since these are people with the same mindset and values as you. Those who wish to cause you harm now have to deal with a whole group of people like you; being alone makes you easier to destroy.
I know we live in a time where people romanticize being alone, which is something I understand, but given the gist, to connect with people who accept and love you as you are, being with people is better.
Having their support and motivation is very important, not just in helping you be happy and reach your goals; they also protect you so much from getting bullied.
When melted, say someone wants to harass you because of the color of your skin. Being surrounded by people who respect you and accept you lessens the power of your enemies because it shows that they are the only ones who are bothered by your skin.
It also affects your mental health; often when you hear something a lot, you tend to believe it. If someone comes to you every day saying that you are stupid, at the end of the day you start to believe them, but if you have a strong community of people supporting you and encouraging you with great words that lift you, this reduces the trauma from being bullied.
Being alone might push you to change yourself because you are tired of hearing others commenting about how you look; you might change just to shut them up, but when you are accepted somewhere, you can just brush it off and you will know that it is nothing personal; it’s just their opinion and knowledge in life they judge you by; they do not know you.
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